i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have post one night stand depression
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