I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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