i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
