Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You ruined the universe
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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