How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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