before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
