perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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