i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
