someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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