i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we made out on top of his cat.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
