Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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