I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
