i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
PANTIES FOUND
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
