and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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