you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
