Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
