Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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