im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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