he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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