Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There r osticjed everywhere
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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