Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
