At least make sure they are 18
Why
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
