Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
