are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
