Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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