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God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
