i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
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Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
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