haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
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I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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