Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
