So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
