pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
