you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
