I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
