How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
