butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
