If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize