I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
