I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
