is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
