But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
