We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
