I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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