i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
