there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
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I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
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Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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