im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
