How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
