HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Boobs speak an international language.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
