...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
