i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
