Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
