dude i'm inner monologue high
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
