I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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