He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
