when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
