On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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