so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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