I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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