So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
