so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
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just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
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Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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