i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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