So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
