1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
50% drunk capacity currently
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
