Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
